Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Tomorrow, the Surgeon

Tomorrow is the first meeting with the Surgeon. I'm anxious but relieved that it is finally here, that things are being done, believing that this is the beginning of the end of my journey, believing that this thing will be taken out and that will be the end of it. It is hard to feel sorry for myself this morning while watching the news. Hurricane Katrina. 50+ dead. 1,000's homeless. Houses, apartments, businesses flattened. I sit in my home and thank Jesus I am here, on this journey he has sent me on. I pray for those on a much different and tragic road.

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Monday, August 22, 2005

At Two

Me at the Highland Games in, hmmm... Southern Ontario somewhere, wearing red plaid, of course.


Redplaid Time means.....

time for me. Time for me to recount and rehash what's going on with me. I am at a time in my life where everything seems to revolve around what I am doing for others. Not that I resent that, I have created most of the business around me. I am doing many things that I love. But, I have neglected myself, ignored what I need. And what do I need? Depends on the day. Today I need a call from my surgeon. I discovered a large lump in my abdomen, went to the doctor who scheduled an ultrasound the next day, called me into his office the following day to give me the results and referred me to a surgeon to have it removed. In a matter of 3 days MY perspective changed, my stress level sky-rocketed and for the first time in - I don't know how long - I felt out of control of my life. (I called the surgeon's office to find out that he will be looking at his referrals today and should hear from him by tomorrow. Just knowing that helped tremendously.)

So I wait for the phone to ring. In the mean time I see this as an opportunity to do some things I should have been doing all along. My God has been calling me to him, for me to spend some personal time with him but I have found other things needed to be done. Now I find myself running to him, jumping in his lap, curling up and trembling, hardly able to find the words to speak, except to admit I can do nothing about this one. My need for him has become desperate and I must not waste this opportunity. Time for some worship.

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